As anyone who knows me, I have been a sports junkie ever since the day my grandmother taught me the joys of listening to the Twins on KLPM radio. I played baseball all my youth (the league’s worst 3rd baseman in 1971), was a 145 pound defensive end in high school, won a bowling championship in Hawaii, and finished 10 minutes behind a pregnant Liz McColgan in a 10k run in Dundee, Scotland. And it all led to this….


O’ I have known the thrill of game

The curveball and the green to tame;

But yet I haven’t found my niche

In worlds that make the others rich.


I loved the diamond and dugout

But in the skill I did strike out.

And in the hoops was much the story

Lots of effort and little glory.


I played gridiron for three long years

Tho’ never heard those longed for cheers

For touchdown runs and opponents rocked,

Because of my ability my fame was blocked.


I tried the mile and wrestling mat;

Only defeats they did begat.

Yet never worry, there’s more to the story

Two to effort and nil to glory.


I enjoy a round of holes eighteen,

Tho’  my opponents have never seen

The pars and birdies go rolling in,

Or my ball straight at the pin.


Many an hour of throwing darts

To try and make the ranking charts;

Same old story in sports ‘boratory:

A ton of effort but still no glory.


Attempts to play the game of cricket;

Flat bat and slips were not the ticket.

Nor was soccer, the worldwide game,

Not even short-lived or local fame.


Bowling, chess and eight ball pool,

Only to learn the hard knocks school;

And to add to the inventory,

A gold for effort but nuts for glory.


Then to the distance running game

To try to turn my shame to fame.

A plodder I could be called best

Despite the sweat that drenched my vest.


Always team player, support to lend

Because on my skill they could not depend

To carry the squad on my shoulders

More like a sack of granite boulders.


So yet it goes: not fast enough,

Reactions slow, forms too rough,

The eyes not keen, too tall, too short

To make a mark in world of sport.